AIM starring the Cullens
by awesomelycoolwolfgirl
Summary: The following entree is what happens when the Cullens discover the use of AIM...humor, humor, and awkwardness... R&R Please! A/N: This is an in-progress story.
1. Planning

**Hello people of earth! This is my first attempt writing in AIM style but i hope you like it!!! Its a work in progress so i'll try to update whenever i can. Also, please take time to read my other in-progress story When the Northern Lights Touch the Water!!! Oh, and BTW, if you haven't read the entire Twilight Saga, DO IT NOW :]**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh*– Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

loveDecorating – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

_Beatdat! is online _

_Blondes_r_best615 is online_

_*sigh* is online_

_I'maproudShopaholic32 is online_

Beatdat! : Whoosh! And the crowd goes nuts! *does victory dance* Go Emmett, Go Emmett!

Blondes_r_best615 : Hey babe, oh, and by the way, what ON EARTH are you doing???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Same question as Rose….

*sigh* : I'm with Alice…

Beatdat! : I'm playing basketball, what do you think I was implying? Oh, where are my manners? Wanna play, Rose? Alice? Jasper? I'm winning, its, um… 0 - ….. Rose what comes after 10?

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Uh-oh , here comes kindergarten 101 all over again.

*sigh* : Duck and cover! *runs and hides*

Beatdat! : You and your army buddies _would_ say that…

Blondes_r_best615 : Emmett, although I do love you I must say, EMMETT!!!!! Number one, HOW do you play basket ball on AIM? Two, no I _do not_ want to play, and three, 11 comes after ten!!! Good God, and I wonder why I question my life sometimes.

Beatdat! : Idk, you just play. Why are you being such a pessimist?

Blondes_r_best615 : Because I'm wondering if you're loosing your sanity. Maybe I should have Carlisle take a look at you…

Beatdat! : NOOOOOOO!!!! You know I don't like being poked with his pointy doctor-y stuff!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : *laugh laugh laugh*

Blondes_r_best615 : And you know I don't enjoy seeing my monkey man cry when Carlisle gives you a shot!!!

*sigh* : Ohhhhhhhh… Emmett just got told!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : … By his wife!!! LOL

Beatdat! : HEY! *sniffles* That wasn't *sniffles* very nice! *sniffles* =(

All Except Emmett : *rolls eyes* GET OVER IT!!!

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is online_

Bellas_romeo39 : Emmett! Go outside, quick! Bella and I saw a grizzly!

Don'tcallme_issabella181 : It just ran into the woods! Hurry or it'll get away!

Beatdat! : W.T.F. Are you SERIOUS?!?!?! Grizzly season doesn't start for another 6 months!!!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Well, it looked A LOT like a bear, so go see! But, please, if it turns out to be Jacob, don't kill him.

Beatdat! : Emmett is OFF TO FIND AN IRATIBLE GRIZZLY!!! Oh, and I'll think about the last part if it is him. Peace suckas =)

_Beatdat! is offline_

Bellas_romeo39 : Wow. I can't believe he actually fell for your plan, Bella. But maybe you being a vampire is part of it… Anyway, to get to the point, it everyone still here???

Everyone: Yes!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : OMG, Edward, you're brilliant! *evil smirk* Payback time! Muahahahahahahaha!!

*sigh* : Whoa there, Alice, please don't go into hysterics, I can feel it too. *sends out calm waves* Now would someone please like to explain what is going on???

Bellas_romeo39 : Well, as you all know, April fools is in one week, and I'm sure that all of you are aware of how horrid that day will be while Emmett is around…

All in Unison : *Ugh. Groan. Moan.*

Blondes_r_best615 : Pa-_leez_ don't remind me of that hideous day. I will never let Emmett go hunting with me on unimportant holidays _ever_ again.

*sigh* : Ditto, he ruined my guitars =[

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I won't ask either of you. But, I won't ever think of a mall the same way again *flashback*

*sigh* : He took you to the mall???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Worse. He burned all my clothes resulting in Alice taking me shopping for things that I didn't even get to share my opinion about.

Bellas_romeo39 : She wouldn't come out of the house for a week. I had to make Alice go out and buy her new clothes.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : I take offence to that, Bella. And Edward, you didn't make me go shopping to buy her new clothes, I was tired of you two nagging like there's no tomorrow. Do you know the meaning of 'shut-up?'

Blondes_r_best615 : Back on topic, please. You were saying, Eddie?

Bellas_romeo39 : Don't call me Eddie or I'll rip your throat out. As I was saying, we are going to get back at him with plan BTHOEOAFDBPNPOH.

All in Unison : ?!

Bellas_romeo39 : *rolls eyes* you honestly can't figure it out? It's so easy an Emmett can do it. lol! (**A/N:for those of you who don't know or have been living in a cave for the last millennium, I borrowed that from the Geico commercial. Look it up :]**)Oh, Lord, I'm starting to sound like Alice. Lovely. Anyway, it stands for; Bug The Hell Outta Emmett On April Fool's Day By Pulling Numerous Pranks On Him plan. Got it now???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Well, thanks for clearing that definition up for us, Edward. Now what exactly _is_ plan?

*sigh* : Yes, I'd like to also like to know the plan if you'd be so kind to explain it Captain Not So Obvious Definition Writer 

Blondes_r_best615 : Waiting…

I'maproudShopaholic32 : *taps foot impatiently*

Bellas_Romeo39 : Well, what would all of you like to suggest???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I'll go burn his clothes- or his video games- or both

Blondes_r_best615 : I'll go trade his Wrangler in for a car just like Bella's old truck =]

*sigh* : I call breaking his Hannah Montana CD's!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Can I help you, Bella???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Of, course, Alice.

Bellas_romeo39 : …and after you all are done, I'll move his remaining item(s) into the garage.

Blondes_r_best615 : This promises to be fun =)

*sigh* : Yes, ma'am, it does….

_Beatdat! is online_

Beatdat! : Hey guys! Whatcha doing?

All in Unison : *Whistling*

Beatdat! : You guys are weird…

_Beatdat! is offline_

Blondes_r_best615 : 'Night guys.

_Blondes_r_best615 is offline_

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Ditto…

*sigh* : I'm with Alice.

_I'maproudShopaholic32 is offline_

_*sigh* is offline_

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : ' Guess that leaves us.

Bellas_romeo39 : I'm right behind you, love.

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is offline_

_Bellas_romeo39 is offline_

**Thank you guys for reading! I know its not a lot sor far, but the next chapter is coming! So anyways, R&R please! Give me tips, comments, suggestions (preferabbly screen name suggestions, I'm brain dead lol) and ideas for what to write about on My Cullen AIM! Thanks! Next Chapter will be up 'n out soon!**

**-Snow**


	2. What Just Happened?

**Hey everyone, I'm sorry I forgot to post this on the first chapter but when I realized I hadn't posted it yet, it wouldn't post, so:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Series or any of the characters.**

**There you have it, the disclaimer. Read, enjoy, then R&R!**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

loveDecorating – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is online_

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Hello? Anyone here?

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Anyone? Echo…echo..._echo_

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Wow. That was creepy. I'm all Alone! alone! _alone!_

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Now I'm seriously flippin' out. I did not type the other two alone-s.

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : But I did. *evil laugh* Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion : Good job boss. What do we do now, boss?

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : The same thing we do everyday, minion. Try to take over the world!!! *does evil laugh while petting evil white cat* Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion : Would you like to come with me to get some evil fruit punch and come watch the Chronicles of Narnia with me, evilly?

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : I'd be delighted, minion.

_Anonymous_voiceof_doom is offline_

_Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion is offline_

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Uhhhhhhh… what the hell just happened???

_No_comment is online_

No_comment : Hey Jake, wassup with you?

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Uh… Seth, where's Leah?

No_comment : Um… I think she's cliff diving, although, I think she'll be delighted to hear that her presence was requested!!! =]

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Not funny at all Seth. Shut it unless you want to earn yourself double shifts.

No_comment : Sorr-y Jake. What do you need Leah for, anyways?

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Um, what does she know about stalkers?

No_comment : How should I know? What about stalkers, Jake? What happened?

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : I…Um.. Echo…He…Them…Fruit Punch…Narnia…

No_comment : Jake, maybe if you actually finished the sentence, I might answer it. In English, preferably. So, SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : You promise not to laugh OR make fun of me OR tell the guys?

No_comment : I'll try my best dude. No promises, though.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Although I'll probably regret it later, ok. So I logged on to AIM and there was no one on. So I was just typing in random stuff like Echo. And then someone else mysteriously appeared outta the blue and repeated my echo, ya know, like when you start to yell like an idiot in a canyon??? Well, yea, then he, or she did the same thing when I said I was all alone. He/she repeated alone. Then the person admitted to me that they were the ones repeating my calls then his minion said 'good job boss' and asked the boss what they were gonna do next and the boss said 'the same thing we do everyday, minion. Try to take over the world!!!' Then the minion asked the boss if he wanted to come over and drink fruit punch and watch the Chronicles of Narnia then they both logged out and I was all like 'What the hell?' Then you showed up *pant, pant*

No_comment : Uhhh… Jake? Do you want me to take you over to see Carlisle? Or maybe you should take a trip to the mental facility…

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : SETH?! No I don't want to go see Carlisle or visit a mental facility!!!

No_comment : Well Jake, as much as I like to sit here and talk about our problems… I've got to go do an English report. But, I still feel bad leaving you alone like this. Are you sure you don't want me to call like, an EMT? I could also take you to see Jasper.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : *sighs* Seth, please, just log off while I have myself under control. If you keep continuously pissing my off… I will step on you feet SOOO hard it'll feel like hell and your feet collided and you'll be scooting yourself along the ground like a DERANGED POSSESSED PENGUIN!!! Got it?!

No_comment : Sure, sure. Catcha later Jake, I'll tell Leah you said hi.

_No_comment is offline_

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Kids.

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

Bellas_romeo39 : Hello Jacob. How are you?

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Hey Ed! I'm okay, I guess. How's the hot hybrid???

Bellas_romeo39 : Is Edward _really_ so HARD to say??? And also Jacob, I'd prefer you'd not refer to my daughter as 'the hot hybrid.' That's how you get kicked out of Cullen Manor =] I'm sure Rosalie would love to do the honors if it comes down to that.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Fine then, how's Lovely Nessie, Ed_ward_?

Bellas_romeo39 : She's doing fine. Actually, Emmett talked us all into playing Truth or dare tomorrow which I'll probably regret later, but you're, invited as are Seth and Leah.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Truth or Dare??? Isn't that a game that girls play at sleepovers and they tell each other who they like, and all that crap??? I would've though you guys would've done something like committed a crime, got caught, get sent to jail, break out with you're freaky powers, run to the Andes mountains and back.

Bellas_romeo39 : No, Jacob, I don't think you understand. Once Rosalie got dared to run all the way to Antarctica with hot pink hair in a red cocktail dress carrying an angry cat, kissed a penguin, and then ran back. We got the whole thing on video. _That_ would be a Cullen Dare. =D

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : LOL Blondie kissed a penguin? Carried and angry cat?? Blondie?! When did she become an animal lover??? Ohh, now I'm kind of scared to know what a Cullen Truth is. Should I be afraid???

Bellas_romeo39 : Terrified. Says the vampire and his werewolf ally.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Ok, well, in that case, I'm in! I'll pass the invite along to Seth and Leah.

Bellas_romeo39 : Perfect. Emmett has been waiting a while for a new playing. But consider yourself warned. So, anyway, what's with the weird screen name??? I'm sorry to say that every time I look at it, it reminds me of human food which makes me want to throw up, if I could.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Well I'm sorry ROMEO. Art thou britches too tight??? Haha I said 'art thou' and britches.

Bellas_romeo39 : I'd rather thou not kill thee right now. Shan't you be off, middle-aged hound???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow

_. I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is offline_

Bellas_romeo39 : What did I say???

_Beatdat! is online _

Beatdat! : Edward! What are you doing here???

Bellas_romeo39 : Nothing, actually, but I got Jake to play Truth or Dare with us tomorrow.

Beatdat! : Sweeeeeeet. Um, bye!

Bellas_romeo39 : Emm-

_Beatdat! is offline_

Bellas_romeo39 : Alright then, I guess I'm gone as well.

_Bellas_romeo39 is offline_

_Anonymous_voiceof_doom is online_

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : Aslan, NOOOOOOO!!!!

**Hey guys, I know this chapter wasn't about anything in particular, but I hoped you liked it! Anyways, I would like at least 5 reviews before I post the next chapter, please. R&R!**


	3. Truth or Dare Round 1

**You people are mean. Not one review??? This makes me sad. Maybe I should stop writing this Cullen AIM. So, review if you care for me and if you don't want me to cancel the story, which is the impression I'm getting right now, please review when you are done reading this!**

**Disclaimer : I do not own Twilight I do not own Twilight I do not own Twilight! Get it? Got it? Good. =] Enjoy.**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

loveDecorating – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

_Beatdat! is online_

_Monster_ofthe_C is online_

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is online_

_Bellas_romeo39 is online _

Bellas_romeo39 : Ok guys, Jacob, Seth and Leah will be here in twenty minutes.

Beatdat! : YEA! More players + Cullen Truth or Dare = Happey Emmett!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Good job Emmett!!! That was _almost_ math!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Yes, but he still mis-spelled 'Happy'

Beatdat! : You should be proud, sissy. It took some thinking. And shut it, lover boy.

Monster_ofthe_C : Number uno, don't tell my daddy to shut it or I'll rip you're jaw off Uncle Emmett, no offence. Dos, you guys will go easy on me, right? You know, because I'm the youngest???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Well, firstly, I second the jaw-ripping motion, but Renesmee, you are a Cullen and you're also 20.

Monster_ofthe_C : Yea, but I look 3 years younger than that!!! Doesn't that cut me _any_ slack?

Beatdat! : Nope, sorry little girl. =]

Monster_ofthe_C : Grrr…

Bellas_romeo39 : Hey, Jacob's here!

*Yells for Jacob, Seth, and Leah to get online*

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is online_

_No_comment is online_

_Iprobablyhateyou is online_

Monster_ofthe_C : Sup, Jake!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Crap, Emmett!!! You're wearing off on my daughter!!! Sup???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Hi, Nessie. Good to see you to, Bella.

Beatdat! : You say that like it's a bad thing…

Bellas_romeo39 : Emmett, we've –for the past 20 years- have instructed her in using the proper writing grammar, and then you ruin it talking like an… idiot. (**A/N: sorry to those people who do talk like that**)

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Sorry Jacob, hello! Hi Seth, hi Leah.

No_comment : Hey Bella! Hey Edward! So are we going to play or what???

Iprobablyhateyou : Yea, let's get this over with.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : You didn't have to come if you didn't want to Leah.

Iprobablyhateyou : But I came along so I can humiliate a bunch of physco bloodsuckers.

Beatdat! : Ooooo… I'm so scared of the girlie wolf!!!

Monster_ofthe_C : Oh

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : No

No_comment : He

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Didn't

Bellas_romeo39 : !!!

Iprobablyhateyou : ?!?! WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR DAMN ASS OVER HER SO I CAN KICK IT YOU "inappropriate words here"!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : =O

No_comment : Leah, calm down. Chill. Okay then, can we get everyone online so we can get the game going before things get to out of hand???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : You just had to open you big mouth, Emmett. Sure, Seth, I'll yell for them to get on.

*Yells for everyone else to get on*

_*Sigh* is online_

_I'mapouudShopaholic32 is online_

_Blondes_r_best615 is online_

Blondes_r_best615 : Jeez, we're here already.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : So are we going to play, or not???

Beatdat! : No, no, no. We screamed at you to get on because we're going to talk about politics. Of course we're gonna play!!! Pfft… some fortune teller _you_ are.

*Sigh* : Hey! Be nice to my gal =]

Beatdat! : *rolls eyes*

Bellas_romeo39 : Shut up, all of you!!! Focus!!! Let's play. Who shall ask first???

Blondes_r_best615 : ME!!!

Bellas_romeo615 : Ok then, go ahead, Rose.

Blondes_r_best615 : Alright, let's see…hmmm… Mutt, truth or dare???

Monster_ofthe_C : Aunt Rose, please don't call Leah, Jacob, or Seth mutts.

Blondes_r_best615 : Fine-whatever. Jacob, truth or dare???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Dare. Bring it, Blondie.

Monster_ofthe_C : Jake…

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : I'm sorry. Dare, Flower Girl.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Renesmee, let it go. It's a wasted effort.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : OMG, ROSE!!! Hahahahahaha!!! Thank you _sooooo_ much! This is going to be the best dare ever!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Ha ha ha!!! Nice one, Rosalie. This will be entertaining to watch.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : ???

Blondes_r_best615 : Glad you two think so. Now *grins evilly* Jacob, I dare you to let Alice give you a poodle-cut while you're in mutt form. Then, when you're done, call an emergency meeting with all the mutts in La Push and when everyone's together, ask them for their' opinion about your new hair style. =]

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

All in Unison Except Jacob : *ROLF* (**A/N: for those of you who don't know what that means, it means Rolling On the Floor Laughing. You guys just got educated.**)

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : There is _no way _in Hell I'm letting Tinkerbell anywhere near me with a pair of scissors and I'm not going to La Push like a poodle. _NO WAY IN HELL._ Period.

Monster_ofthe_C : Yea!!! I don't want Auntie Alice to make Jake into a poodle!!!

Beatdat! : Sorry dude, but once you commit to a dare, you stick with it. You entered the 'Land-o of no Return-o'

No_comment : Sorry, Ness!!! It looks *laugh* like Jake's *laugh* reputation is *laugh* dead!!! *laugh*

Iprobablyhateyou : Hey! Did you guys see that??? Jacob's dignity just got totally flushed!!!

*Sigh* : Then are you _chicken_, Jacob???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Uhhh…

Monster_ofthe_C : My boyfriend better _not_ be a chicken, or else *glares*

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Fine. But I'm only doing it for you, Nessie. Now let's get this over with.

Monster_ofthe_C : Good. Love you too =)

**-Many more laughs and poodle cuts later…-**

**(Jacob is also in La Push at the moment with Seth and Leah and will be on soon.)**

Blondes_r_best615 : Ahhh… Sweet Victory!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : That was fun! I've never been a groomer before!!!

*Sigh* : You did a wonderful job, darlin'.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Yea, Alice! You could totally be a groomer if you wanted. Although I do kind of feel bad for Jacob…

Monster_ofthe_C : You think YOU felt bad, Mom??? I had to just sit and watch as my man was stripped of his manly-ness!!! It was pure torture!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : We _are_ sorry you had to see that Nessie.

Beatdat! : Oh, blah, blah. Will you guys quit feeling sorry for poor dignity-less reputation-less Jacob? This is the whole point of Cullen Truth or Dare!!!

*Sigh* : Shut up, Emmett. You ain't helping the situation. Everyone's emotions are going crazy and its driving me insane!!!

Beatdat! : Too bad for you, Dr. Phil. Now as I was saying-

All in Unison : EMMETT!!! SHUT YOUR TRAP!!!

Beatdat! : Well, then! I fell unloved =[

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is online_

_No_comment is online_

_Iprobablyhateyou is online_

Iprobablyhateyou : OMG THAT WAS PROBABLY THE MOST HYSTERICAL THING I'VE EVER WITNESSED IN MY LIFE!!!

No_comment : Yea Jake, I hate to say this but that was pretty damn funny!!! LOL

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Thanks for the support, Seth. Leah, well, I'm not surprised. You guys are lucky that my fur grows back fast and none of Tinkerbell's cutting effected my human looks.

Blondes_r_best615 : No one cares, mutt. Well??? Tell us what happened!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : DETAILS!!!

Iprobablyhateyou : Well, when we first got there Sam was there along with all the other pack members and everyone's thoughts were like 'Who the hell is that the chick dog?' And when they found out it was Jacob, everyone started to laugh so hard that Sam made all the pack members phase back before Alaska heard us. Then we left and everyone was still shaking from laughter. It was as funny as hell!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Yea, yea, we got it. Jacob got humiliated in public. Blah, blah, blah. Now it's my turn. =] Emmett, truth or dare???

**Hah! Hope you peoples liked this chapter!!! I will include Carlisle and Esme soon, too. Please review!!! I don't want to have to set one of those-review target, things!!! Be angels, and make my day, so, review please!!!**

**-Snow**


	4. The Second Round

**Well thank you for the one angelic person that did review. Anyways, keep it up.**

**Enjoy =]**

**Disclaimer : I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

loveDecorating – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

_**Previously:**_

_**I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Yea, yea, we got it. Jacob got humiliated in public. Blah, blah, blah. Now it's my turn. =] Emmett, truth or dare???**_

---

Beatdat! : Do ya need to ask? Dare, Balto!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Do. Not. Call. Me. Balto.

Beatdat! : Sure thing, Fido =]

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Shut your trap, you twit. Just for that, I dare you to watch educational TV and only go on educational computer sites for an entire month. That means the discovery channel, animal planet, the science channel, and the cooking channel _only_. That also means NO VIDEO GAMES FOR A MONTH!!! Ha!!! Put _that_ in your juice box and suck it. =)

Beatdat! : You _did not _just go there, Fifi.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Oh but I did =0

*There is a loud shattering noise*

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Umm…What was that?

Beatdat! : I got mad.

Monster_ofthe_C : And?

Beatdat! : I accidentally punched through the French doors in my room.

Blondes_r_best615 : Emmett! You know I liked those!!! Esme will be mad!!!

Beatdat! : Whatever, I'll deal with that later. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. You'll pay for this, mutt!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Sure, sure. Your turn.

Beatdat! : Fine. *smiles devilishly* Bella, truth or dare???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Uhhhhhhh… Edward???

Bellas_romeo39 : Sorry, love. He's blocking his thoughts from me.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : *sighs* Well then, I guess for the sake of my well being, I'll have to go for…Truth!!!

Blondes_r_best615 : *cough* Chicken *cough*

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Shut up, Flower Girl.

Monster_ofthe_C : Jake, that nickname doesn't make a lick of sense.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Yea it does. Her real name is Rosalie, as in Rose, as in flower, as in Flower Girl. Get it???

Monster_ofthe_C : Sure, Jake, whatever floats your boat.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Huh???

Beatdat! : PEOPLE!!! I AM ABOUT TO GIVE BELLA HER TRUTH SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

No_comment : Chill dude, chill.

*Sigh* : Well, no one's stopping you man.

Beatdat! : Bella, if a building was on fire and you could only save Edward or Nessie, who would you choose???

Doncallme_isabella181 : I'm **NOT **answering that question!!! They're both _much_ too important to me!!! Pick a different dare Emmett, or I'll sic Jacob on you.

Beatdat! : Ha!!! In your dreams!!! What's he gonna do??? Bark a-

_Beatdat! has been disconnected from this chat room._

Monster_ofthe_C : I suddenly value your geeky computer skills, Jacob.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : I know you love me =)

Bellas_romeo39 : Well…? What now???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I get to go!!! Hmm…Who to pick, who to pick…Leah!!! Truth or Dare???

Iprobablyhateyou : Well, _I'm_ not a chicken, so Dare, bloodsucker.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I dare you to go to the park and whenever you see a squirrel, you have to chase after it and start barking. Then once you've done that, oh, say, at least ten times, then you have to go up to random people and ask things like 'Will you throw me a Frisbee?' or 'Will you scratch behind me ear?'

Iprobablyhateyou : WHAT?!?!?! But I'll look like an idiot!!!

Blondes_r_best615 : That's the point, mutt. Wow Bella, I'm proud of you. I didn't know that Eddie's Little Angel could be so devilish!!! I've taught you well…

No_comment : Sorry, sis!!! Hey Jake, didn't you bring a video camera to 'capture the moment' when needed???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Oh, yes I did. This is so going on the internet =]

Beatdat! has been connected

Beatdat! is online

Beatdat! : Hey guys! What'd I miss???

Iprobablyhateyou : Jacob, if you do that, I will dig my nails so far into your God-Be-Damned bloodstream THAT YOU WILL BE UNCONCIOUS FOR THEN NEXT 24 HOURS!!! GOT IT?!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Sure, sure…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : So are we going to the park, or is Leah chickening out???

Iprobablyhateyou : Fine, lets get my death sentence over with.

_Everyone is offline_

**An hour later…**

_Everyone is online except Carlisle and Esme_

Monster_ofthe_C : O M G I can't believe the police started chasing after you, Leah! They actually thought you were on drugs! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Blondes_r_best615 : And that old man that whacked you with his cane when you asked him to throw you a ball!!! Can't forget that!!!

*sigh* : Ahhh… Good times, good times.

Iprobablyhateyou : EVERYONE SHUT UP! IT IS MY TURN. Now, I have heard many stories about how to piss you guys off and embarrass you all from Jake, so if you don't like your challenge, BLAME HIM.

Beatdat! : Yea, whatever, just get on with it.

Iprobablyhateyou : Ok, Psychic Tinkerbell, truth or dare?

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Dare. I had a vision that is doesn't involve damaging my clothes or getting rid of them, so I pick Dare.

Iprobablyhateyou : Alright then, your funeral, bloodsucker.

Monster_ofthe_C : Will the name calling ever end???

Iprobablyhateyou : I dare you to enter a top-model fashion show…

I'maproudShopaholic32 : YES!!! Bestest dare ever!!!

Iprobablyhateyou : I wasn't finished. …And you have to let Isabella pick out your clothes from…_Wal-Mart_.

I'maproudShopaholis32 : JACOB BLACK YOU WILL DIE AND I HATE YOU.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : My name is Bella, USE IT.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : What did I do???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : SHARED INFORMATION OF MY LOVE FOR SHOPPING.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : I'd call it more of an addiction.

*sigh* : Ugh. This won't go down well. Alice will never live this down. And you will all probably be feeling anger, sadness, and lots of tension for the next few weeks until she takes another very long shopping trip…Great.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : I DO NOT HAVE AN ADDICTION. I CAN STOP ANY TIME I WANT. I JUST CHOOSE NOT TO. JAKE, DON'T BE SURPRISED TO FIND YOUR CAR SMASHED THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO DRIVE IT, 'KAY? Oh, and thanks for the support, honey. I'll make sure to return the favor.

*sigh* : Alice, _do not_ touch my civil war costumes!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : What costumes?

*sigh* : The ones you said were ugly and so 100 years ago???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : You don't have civil war costumes.

*sigh* : Yes I do.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Not anymore.

*sigh* : ALICE!!! Do you know how long it took me to track those down???

Bellas_romeo39 : So Alice, will you do the Dare???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : I DON"T WANNA

Beatdat! : Jeez, Alice. You sound like a three year old.

Blondes_r_best615 : Look who's talking.

Beatdat! : Why would _you_, Rose, say that to _me_, your husband???

Blondes_r_best615 : You think its not true?

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : C'mon, Alice!!! I'll try to use my best judgment!!!

Monster_ofthe_C : Please, Auntie Alice???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Fine.*pouts* I'll do it. But I won't like it. But Bella, if you pick out a terrible outfit for me, you'll pay…through Edward.

Bellas_romeo39 : I don't like where this is going…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Neither do I. Let's go!

Everyone in Unison : TO WALMART!!!

**Everyone is at the fashion show and they are in their' seats. Alice is getting ready to some out while everyone else is using the internet on their' phones to use AIM.**

*sigh* : Is she coming out soon???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Yeah, soon. They're putting the finishing touches on her make-up.

Blondes_r_best615 : Ok guys, here she comes, get ready to take lots of pictures!

Beatdat! : So we can humiliate her?

Blondes_r_best615 : No, for blackmail!!!

No_comment : There she is! Quick, everyone, capture the moment!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Oh my Lord Bella. Alice really rubbed off on you on all those shopping trips. But she still really hates it. She thinks it makes her butt look to big. On the other hand I think you did an excellent job.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Why, thank you =]

*sigh* : I am feeling a whole lot of anger coming off of Alice. Edward, you better watch out.

Bellas_romeo39 : Uh-huh, sure.

Iprobablyhateyou : I did good. I am happy.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : We're all so pleased that you're satisfied, Leah. Now what do we do???

Monster_ofthe_C : We use the blackmail of Aunt Alice modeling so Mom, Uncle Jasper and I won't have to go on the week long shopping trip to Paris that she's probably have within the next few days???

*sigh* : I like the way you think, Nessie.

Blondes_r_best615 : She got that from me.

Beatdat! : Can we just get Alice and go home???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Yup. Let's go.

_Everyone is home_

I'maproudShopaholic32 : So, who wants to go to France for a week to shop???

All in Unison Except Alice : NO.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Bella, Nessie, Jasper, you know I'll end up dragging you along anyway, so just don't fight it.

Monster_ofthe_C : I don't know Aunt Alice, we have some very nice pictures of you at the fashion show, and I was curious to know how many hits it would get if I put it on the internet, weren't you curious too, Dad???

Bellas_romeo39 : I was very interested in the idea.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : You wouldn't dare…

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Oh, wouldn't we???

Blondes_r_best615 : Would you like to test that theory, Alice???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Grrr… I'll find a way, but in the mean time. Jasper, truth or dare???

*sigh* : WHAT?! I'm your husband!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Exactly.

*sigh* : Well, umm… I guess I'll have to go with-

_loveDecorating is online_

_Carlisle is online_

Carlisle : Hey kids! What are you doing???

No_comment : Playing Truth or Dare. Wanna play???

Carlisle : No!!! I still haven't forgiven all of you for the last time.

Iprobablyhateyou : What happened???

loveDecorating : Trust me, you don't want to know. Just be glad you weren't there.

Carlisle : Anyway, we're back!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Were you even gone???

loveDecorating : Yes. We were in Denali for a while visiting with Tanya and then we went to Isle Esme. But more importantly, Emmett, what did you break this time???

Beatdat! : Why do you always assume I broke something??? I would appreciate a little faith and trust from my parents once in a while.

Carlisle : Emmett, just tell us what you broke.

Beatdat! : The French doors in my bedroom.

loveDecorating : EMMETT!!! WHY DID YOU BREAK THOSE??? THOSE WERE EXPENSIVE!!!

Beatdat! : I got angry.

Carlisle : Emmett, for your punishment, you have to sign up for anger management classes, and no computer for a week.

Blondes_r_best615: AHAHAHAHAHAH!!! ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES??? THAT'S THE BEST PUNISHMENT EVER CARLISLE!!!

Carlisle : I'm glad you thing so, Rosalie. Now, everyone off. We're going hunting.

Everyone in Unison : Yes, Sir.

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is offline_

_Monster_ofthe_C is offline_

_*sigh* is offline_

_I'maproudShopaholic32 is offline_

_Blondes_r_best615 is offline_

_Beatdat! is offline_

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is offline_

_Bellas_romeo39 is offline._

Carlisle : We should get paid for this 'parenting' thing.

loveDecorating : We should. But we don't. Let's go catch up with the kids.

_loveDecorating is offline_

_Carlisle is offline_

**This chapter is the longest yet!!! *Cheers!* I hoped ya'll liked it!!! Please REVIEW and give me comments, suggestions, and ideas!!! If I don't get a few reviews, I might set a target. THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE OUT SOON. You readers rock!**

**-Snow**


	5. Burn Baby, Burn

**Hey peeps!!! Thanks for all those wonderful reviews I got!!!(That was sarcasm because I didn't get one review =[ ) It made me sad. Anyways, these next few chapters are going to be a lot less wordy and slower to get out (but if you review, it'll go faster!!!) because my brother cut off the end of his pinkey so I have to help with him. R&R please.**

**Disclaimer: I. NOT. OWN. TWILIGHT.**

**Enjoy!!!**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

loveDecorating – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

_The next week…_

_---_

_*sigh* is online_

_Beatdat! is online_

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

Beatdat! : I'm really board.

Bellas_romeo39 : Although I do agree with you Emmy, I think you meant to say 'I'm really board-

Beatdat! : DON'T CALL ME EMMY, and I DON'T CARE about correct 'english' and 'riting grammer.'

Bellas_romeo39 : Well you call me Eddie, and I think you meant to say-

Beatdat! : SHUT UP LOVER BOY! Jeez, what are you my mother???

*sigh* : Can we never have a civilized conversation without conflict???

Beatdat! : We could, but I choose not to. It's how I become occupied.

Bellas_romeo39 : It's also how you become without your right arm.

*sigh* : BACK ON TOPIC PLEASE. I GET THAT WE ARE BORED.

Bellas_romeo39 : So, what should we do???

Beatdat! : *Light bulb Moment* I've got an awesome idea!!!

*sigh* : Which would be???

Beatdat! : WE SHOULD MAKE SMORES!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Emmett, we don't eat food, if your dull senses haven't picked that up yet.

Beatdat! : Yeah, so we'll feed them to Mutt Boy when he gets here. And, I have lightning reflexes!!!

*sigh* : Whatever you say…

Beatdat! : So, are we gonna make smores?!

*sigh* : I'll do it, but, unfortunately, we lack owning a lighter.

Beatdat! : Who said anything about a lighter???

Bellas_romeo39 : Ummm…That's not really a good idea at all Emmett. You know how Rose and Alice will be…

*sigh* : Ahem???

Bellas_romeo39 : Emmett wants to use Alice's and Rosalie's shoes to start the fire. It seems that there is some very flammable substance in the heels of the shoes.

*sigh* : Ohhh… now I get it. I have to agree with Edd- Edward on this one. Alice will seriously find some way to get hard revenge on you Emmett…

Beatdat! : Oh come _ON_!!! They both go on like, five shopping trips a week!!! What's the worst they could do??? They're _girls_!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Well, I'll only do it if we get Jacob to do it, so Alice doesn't see it.

*sigh* : But how would we get Jacob-

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is online _

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Suppith.

Bellas_romeo39 : Well, Jacob! How convenient of you to drop in.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : What do you want now???

Beatdat! : WE'RE GONNA MAKE SMORES!!! =]

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Sweeeet, I'm starving.

*sigh* : Well, I guess I'm in too.

Bellas_romeo39 : Ok, but Jacob you must know that the fire is going to made up of Alice's and Rosalie's shoes, so if they catch us accuse us of shoe-suicide, remember what Jasper and I taught you to do???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : That one thing that you told me to do in emergencies when Emmett is involved???

*sigh* : Yes, that's the one.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Yup. I know what to do.

Beatdat! : I don't know what the hell you guys are talking about, but anyway, LET'S SO BURN GUCCI!!!

---

_Emmett, Jasper, Jacob, and Edward are in the baseball clearing with the 5 foot high pile of burning designer shoes. They have their' phones with them and are IMing each other._

_---_

Beatdat! : Open up, Mutt. Here's another one!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : This was the bestest idea EVER!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Ugh. I still don't know how humans eat this stuff. I think we should be singing a memorial song, like 'Burn Baby Burn,' or the death hymn…

*sigh* : Stick with the classics, Edward. If you sing the death hymn, you'll wake the dead.

Bellas_romeo39 : Ha, Ha. Funny, _Captain_.

*sigh* : Humph, captains are for pirates.

Beatdat! : We should so do this more often!!! Ohhhh… Guys, we need to add more shoes, the fire's almost dead.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : We're all out, those black flats were the last pair.

Beatdat! : Awww…Already???

Bellas_romeo39 : We were out here for 2 days, Emmett.

*sigh* : Whelp, I'm going to go inside to write a new song for Alice on my guitar, so I can look innocent.

Beatdat! : All I have to do is cock my head a little, bat my eyelashes, and give Rose the puppy dog face.

Bellas_romeo39 : That might work for Jacob because he is a dog, but you might want to try a different strategy, Emmett.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Okay…I'm going to go inside and explore your fridge.

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is offline_

Beatdat! : I'm gonna go into my room and dry sob.

*sigh* : Why???

Beatdat! : So Rose will go soft on me. So let's see, I need an excuse…I've got it!!! My grandma is dying from and African disease raging in Europe!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : You don't have a-

_Beatdat! is offline _

Bellas_romeo39 : Why do I even bother. I'll meet you at the house, Jazz.

*sigh* : Race ya…I win!!! =D

Bellas_romeo39 : Whatever you say.

_*sigh* is offline_

_Bellas_romeo39 is offline_

---

_**Later that day…**_

---

_Blondes_r_best615 is online_

_I'maproudShopaholic32 is online_

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is online_

_Monster_ofthe_C is online_

I'maproudShopaholic32 : WHY IS THERE A PILE OF BURNT SHOES IN THE BACKYARD?!?!?!?

Blondes_r_best615 : MY BABIES!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Why is this such a big deal??? You guys go to France once every month.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : BELLA?! I JUST GOT DESIGNER GUCCI SHOES FROM _PARIS HILTON _AND NOW THEY'VE BEEN CREAMATED!!!

Monster_ofthe_C : As long as no one has touched my converse collection, I'll somehow be able to move on.

Blondes_r_best615 : We need to get the boys on here ASAP.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I'll get them.

_Bella yells, "EMMETTEDWARDJASPERJACOBGETONTHECOMPUTER__**NOW**__!!!"_

**All the boys except Carlisle are online.**

*sigh* : Alice, darlin,' I wrote a new song for you!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 :JASPER WHITLOCK HALE CULLEN!!! DON'T YOU _DARE_ 'DARLIN' ' ME!!!

Beatdat! : *sniffles* WAAAAAA!!! MY GRANDMA IS DYING OF AN AFRICAN DIASESE THAT IS RAGING IN EUROPE!!! POOR GRAM-CRACKER!!! I'LL MISS YOU!!!

Blondes_r_best615 : BOYS!!! WHY IN HELL IS THERE A PILE OF ALICE'S AND MY SHOES IN THE BAcKYARD IN ASHES?!

Edward/Jasper/Jacob : IT WAS EMMETT'S IDEA!!!

Blondes_r_best615 : Alright, that's how you want to play, Sweetie??? Now it's my turn.

_Blondes_r_best615 is offline_

Monster_ofthe_C : This might not be pretty…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Or suitable for children under the age 5…

Beatdat! : Rosie??? You don't want to do that!!! No…Get away from my video games!!! NOT BARBIE ISLAND PRINCESS!!! No…Rose, stay away from me…No…NO…_NO…__**NOOOOOO!!! **__**NOT THE CHAINSAW**_!!!

_Beatdat! has been disconnected from this chatroom. _

_*_sigh* : What's Barbie Island Princess???

Bellas_romeo39 : It's a movie from about 22 years ago for four year old girls. It's also a video game. I remember when I used to watch girly movies in my human years…Then I turned five.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I've been scarred for the rest of my immortal life.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : As for you Jasper, because I know you were involved in the burning of my *sniffle* darling shoe friends, your punishment is you have to come with me on my next France shopping trip, no complaints, and I get to pick you out a whole new wardrobe.

*sigh* : Wow!!! Would you look at the time!!! I'd best be off!!!

_*sigh* is offline_

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Oh no you don't, you won't get far Jasper!!!

_I'maproudShopaholic32 is offline_

Monster_ofthe_C : Jake, are you there???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Yup, I'm here.

Monster_ofthe_C : Good. Now I can tell you how much I will MESS YOU UP FOR MESSING WITH AUNTY ALICE'S AND AUNTY ROSE'S SHOES!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Don't be afraid to throw a few good punches for me, Nessie.

Monster_ofthe_C : I didn't mean physically messing him up. I was thinking more mentally and emotionally. Now, if ya'll will excuse me, I'm going to go over to the Clearwaters to hang with Seth.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : I swear to God if he lays so much as one finger on you, I will rip his weasel head off!!!!

Monster_ofthe_C : I'll give him a BIG BIG BIG MEANINGFUL HUG just for you, Jakey!!! The C MONSTER IS OUT.

_Monster_ofthe_C is offline_

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : She wouldn't…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I'd hurry and catch up with her, trust me, she will.

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is offline_

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Ya think he heard me???

Bellas_romeo39 : I'm not sure…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : So, I know you were involved in the shoe-fire, and, I CAN'T BELIEVE _YOU_ OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD GET YOURSELF INVOLVE IN SOMETHING AS CHILDISH AS THAT!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Have I ever told you that you have beautiful eyes???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I'll pretend I didn't hear that, because my eyes are the same color's as yours. Now, where was I, oh, yes. Your punishment. GO WITH ALICE AND JASPER ON THE FRANCE SHOPPING TRIP. If you complain, I'll crumble your piano into dust. Goodnight Honey!!! I love you!!

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is offline_

Bellas_romeo39 : You mind as well just kill me now.

_Bellas_romeo39 is offline_

**Did you guys like it??? I hope you did!!! The next chapter will probably be either April Fool's Day or the Cullens will continue their game of Truth or Dare, but I haven't decided. So, please Review!!! Comments, ideas [for truth or dare],suggestions are all welcome!!! Next chapter will be out sooner or later, but it depends on how many of you review!!!**

**-Snow**


	6. Randomness, Consciences, and Webkinz

**Hey everyone!!! Well, you know my other story 'Life Happens?' Yeah, well I'm officially closing that story, because apparently no one likes it, because I got zippo reviews. I hope this story doesn't die!!! So, after you are finished reading this, REVIEW!!! Hey, and you know our old friend 'Anonymous_voiceof_doom?' Yeah, he'll be making a very special appearance in upcoming chapters if you just simply **_**review**_**!!! You know I love you guys, right???**

**Disclaimer : I own nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Zero. El nothing.**

**Enjoy =]**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

loveDecorating – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

---

_Beatdat! is online_

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is online_

Beatdat! : SUP SISTA!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Note to self for future reference- If anyone asks, I don't know you Emmett.

Beatdat! : Well that was very immature, uncanny, and disrespectful towards my intellectual being.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : O.o

Beatdat! : What???? Was it something I said??? Bella??? HELLO???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : =O

Beatdat! : _EARTH TO BELLA!!!_ **GET OUT OF LALA LAND AND WAKE UP!!!**

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Huh??? What???

Beatdat! : Exactly. I am now departing from this lecture. I had a most pleasant chat with you. I hope we can mingle again!!! TTFN!!!

Beatdat! is offline

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : So many questions…

*sigh* is [coincidently] online.

*sigh* : Hey Bella.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : PANCAKES

*sigh* : What???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I SAID WAFFLES. MAKE THE DOGGIE EAT THE DARN CARROTS.

*sigh* : Bella, are you feeling alright??? Haha, I should know…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : DID THE DOGGIE EAT HIS FRUIT??? NO??? BAD DOGGIE!!! I WILL HIT YOU WITH THE BLENDER!!! FACE THE WRATH OF THE TERMINATOR!!!

*sigh* : Uhhh…

***Jasper gets up from the computer and yells for Eddie-poo (Yes, I said Eddie-poo, deal with it) to get on the computer. Edward chucks toast at me for calling him Eddie-poo. Sheesh…Sor-eeey!!!***

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

Bellas_romeo39 : Now what was this problem that is_ so_ important that I must get on the computer for, Jasper???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : ARGH!!! I AM NOW TAKING OVER THE WORL- _OHHH_… LOOK!!! SOMETHING SHINEY!!! COME HERE, SHINEY!!! JAZZY-WAZZY, ITS NOT COMING!!! WAAAAA!!!

*sigh* : To be exact, Bella just escaped from the Looney Bin and all hope is lost. That's the problem. Now try to slap some sense into that girl because we are playing baseball tonight!!! G2G, CYL!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : No…NO!!! EMMETT CAUGHT ONTO YOU TO!!! YOU"RE ONE OF THEM!!! Anyway, yeah, uh-huh, I'll do my best, Emo Boy.

*sigh* : WHAT IN H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICK EVER LED YOU TO THAT CONCLUSION??? I AM NOT EMO!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Whatever you say. We'll talk about this later.

*sigh* : Humph. Grumble.

_*sigh* is offline_

Don'tcallme_isabella181: BUTTERFLIES ARE SQUARE. VERY SQUARE!!! AND POINTY!!! POINTY POINTY POINTY POINTY POINTY POINTY POINTY!!! POTATOE, PATATOE, TOMATOE, BANANAS!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Bella Love??? Calm down. Can you say me name???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Edward. Edwardo. Eddie, Eddie-poo!!! Eddie-poo-zums!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : It's a start …

_Beatdat! is online_

Beatdat! : Sup guys!!! Jasper told me Bella was having a 'moment' and I came to watch!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : *Growls* Emmett…

Beatdat! : Oh, don't worry Eddie, I brought popcorn!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Uhhh…We don't eat food, Emmett.

Beatdat! : Oh yeah…This explains so much.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Whoa!!! What happened??? Edward, how did you get here???

Bellas_romeo39 : Bella!!! Thank goodness!!! You've come out of your trance-type-coma-thingy!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Wait, wha…???-looks up at the recent conversation- OME

Beatdat! :OME???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Oh Meh Edward, duh.

Bellas_romeo39 : -gasps- OH NO… -backs away slowly- you're one of…_them_…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Um… Excuse me??? What are you talking about, Edward???

Bellas_romeo39 : Emmett got to _you_ too!!! _NO!!! You're a…a…an…-whispers- abbreviator…_

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Edward!!! Get your head out of the wacky shack this instant!!!

Beatdat! : Look who's talking…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Hey!!! I didn't day those things on purpose!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : I guess it just have to be something to ponder. And I'm sorry for saying that Bella. I love you =]

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Aww…Apology accepted!!! Edward, I need a hug.

***Bella tries to get up from her chair to give Edward a hug, but can't***

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : EMMETT!!! WHY ON EARTH AM I GLUED TO MY CHAIR?!?

Beatdat! : I don't know…-giggles-

Bellas_romeo39 : -Growls- Emmett…_Why is Bella stuck to her seat?!?_

Beatdat! : HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!!! =] YEA!!!

Bella and Edward : THAT'S TOMARROW YOU IMBICLE!!!

Beatdat! : Yeah, duh, but I wanted Bella to get hers early. YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Bastard…

Bellas_romeo39 : Here, let me help you Bella. Let's see, we'll need a tub of warm water, pliers, a hammer, and a chainsaw.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Edward!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Kidding, sheesh. Hold on Love, let me get Carlisle and then I'll come right back to the cottage!!! **(A/N : Bella and Edward are both in the cottage, I forgot to put that up before.)**

_Bellas_romeo39 is offline_

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is offline_

Beatdat! : Dang!!! I'm all alone. =[ What to do…what to do… I know! I'll play the guessing game!!!

Beatdat! : Ok Emmett, I'm thinking of something brown, and oval shaped, and it is used in a sport, and-

Beatdat! : IT'S A FOOTBALL!!!

Beatdat! : Yeah!!! You're good at this game!!! Ok, now I'm thinking of something orange, round, is used in a sport and-

Beatdat! : IT'S A BASKET BALL!!! I WIN!!!

Beatdat! : Um, yeah, it is. This is getting sorta creepy now…

Beatdat! : Keep going!!!

Beatdat! : Ok, now I'm thinking of something tall-ish, annoying, is married to a klutz, and-

Beatdat! : I KNOW!!!

Beatdat! : Shocker. So what's your guess???

Beatdat! : ITS EDDIE!!!

Beatdat! : THAT'S IT!!! THIS IS GETTING TOO WEIRD YOU'RE A…A…A STALKER!!! AHHH!!! –slaps the 'other' Emmett-

Beatdat : OH no you di-in't –punches the 'other' Emmett in the face-

***Both Emmett's get into a big fist fight until…***

BOYS!!! ENOUGH!!!

-Both Emmett's look up and now there is only one Emmett…odd.-

Beatdat! : Wh-who are y-you???

Well, I'm your conscience!!!

Beatdat! : My _what_???

Your conscience. You know, the little voice inside your head that tells you what to do???

Beatdat! : I don't believe you.

Oh yeah??? Well I can control every move to make and tell you what to do.

Beatdat! : Prove it, Jiminy Cricket.

Humph, fine. Let's see, oh, perfect!!! Here comes Bella with an aluminum baseball bat!!! Looks like she's getting payback…Hmm…let's make you…do cartwheels!!!

Beatdat! : Wh-why am I c-c-cart wheeling around my room??? I mean, I get that Bella's chasing after me, but…ok this is weird…

I told you, I OWN YOU!!! And now for the finale…

Beatdat! : What!?! Are you out of your mind!!! I can't do the splits and…oh. I ripped my pants.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Beatdat! : WHAT??? I'm _NOT_ flexible, and Bella just whacked me on the head with the bat!!! That hurt!!!

HAHA…THAT…WAS…SO…FUNNY!!! Now do you believe I am your conscience???

Beatdat! : If I say yes, will you leave me alone?!?

Sure, kid.

Beatdat! : OK, I believe =]

I'll be in your head. Bye.

Beatdat! : Psh, Yeah, I believe…that Eddie is annoying as hell.

Beatdat! : Now before anything else bad or awkward happens…

_Beatdat! is offline_

---

About an hour later…

---

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is online_

_Monster_ofthe_C is online_

_No_comment is online_

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

_*sigh* is online_

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : HEY EVERYONE!!! GUESS WHAT!!!

Everyone : -sighs- What now, Jake???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : I HAVE A…A…WEBKINZ!!! THESE THINGS ARE THE COOLEST THINGS CREATED!!!

No_comment : No comment…

Bellas_romeo39 : -slaps forehead-

*sigh* : Here we go again…

Monster_ofthe_C : Jacob, as your girlfriend/wife, I think its my job to tell you something… THOSE THINGS ARE FOR KIDS UNDER THE AGE OF 10 AND FOR OLDER ADULTS WHO NO LONGER HAVE A LIFE.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : -sniffles- Well, I guess –sniffle- I'll go bury –sniffle- it in the woods. I thought –sniffle- that you would like it –sniffle- because it's a sea monster –sniffle- and I named –sniffle- it after –sniffle- you. But, if it's what you want…=[

*sigh* : -Whispers to Edward- This is pathetic.

Monster_ofthe_C : Aww…Jake. Fine, you can keep it.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : YES!!! I LOVE YOU, NESSIE!!! I'M GONNA GO ADOPT IT AT THE ADOPTION CENTER AND NAME IT BOB!!!

Monster_ofthe_C : JAKE!!! But you just said-

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is offline_

Monster_ofthe_C : I've thought about honestly killing that boy, but hey, at least once in your life, you start to wonder…

*sigh* : Nope, never thought about it.

Bellas_romeo39 : You go right on ahead and kill Jacob, but not once have I ever thought about it…

No_comment : _I _wouldn't know.

Monster_ofthe_C : Wow, you guys are _so_ supportive of my problems.

Edward/Jasper/Seth : We know =]

Bellas_romeo39 : Well, I have to go hunting with Bella. I'll see all of you later. Bye Nessie, Love you.

_Belas_romeo39 is offline_

*sigh* : I'm right after Edward. Bye, Seth. See you at the baseball game tonight.

_*sigh* is offline_

Monster_ofthe_C : What?!? He didn't say 'Goodbye Nessie' to me, but he says bye to you???

No_comment : Maybe it's because I'm older, better, more important, ect.

Monster_ofthe_C : Shut up Seth, or I'll make sure that you grow up, never get married, and die alone. Good night.

_Monster_ofthe_C is offline_

No_comment : Ouch, that hurt.

_No comment is offline_

_Carlisle is online_

_loveDecorating is online_

Carlisle : Why is it that whenever we are online, no one else is???

loveDecorating : I have no idea. You know Honey, you should change you're AIM name, it's so boring and dull, and it gives you away.

Carlisle : It's my name, Esme. Of course it gives me away. You know, you've had your name for a while too. You should change it.

loveDecorating : Fine. Let's do spy names!!! Ok, so to do spy names, we each have to have 'the' in the front of out names. So I'll let you do my name. What's the first thing you just saw???

Carlisle : Umm… I just blinked so the darkness on the inside of my eyelids.

loveDecorating : Alright, so as of right now my name is 'The Dark.' Now what is the first thing you're thinking of???

Carlisle : Care Bear!!! I was looking online for a Care Bear for one of my patients.

loveDecorating : 'The Dark _Care Bear???'_

Carlisle : Well you asked. I guess it's you're new AIM name =]

loveDecorating : Don't worry, dearest, I'll think of something awesome for you. But still, you couldn't have thought of a ninja, or a night, or a dragon, oh no. You think of a Care Bear. –grumble, mumble-

_loveDecorating has changed her AIM name to TheDarkCareBear_

Carlisle : Well, Janet just called from the hospital and I've got to get over there ASAP!!! Bye!!! XOXOXOXO.

_Carlisle is offline_

TheDarkCareBear : He. Is. So. Dead.

_TheDarkCareBear is offline_

**Well everyone, I put a little of everything in there for 'ya. Hope you liked!!! No offence intended on the whole webkinz deal. That was just Nessie's POV. The next chapter will be out soon, and it'll be 'April Fools Day with the Cullens!!!' So while I feed my pet unicorn, you can press the little button below with the green font, its rectangular, come on…You know you want to…**

**-Wolfy**


	7. April Fools Day with the Cullens!

**Ok everyone, first let me say sorry for not updating a lot recently!!! My mom is trying to recover from surgery and I've been help her, but the main reason for me not updating recently was just that, well, I'm pretty lazy, so there. **

**In this chapter I used the AIM style and mixed it with some real talking in third person. When you review, tell me what you think, which brings me to my next topic…**

**A BIG THANKS to you lovely reviews, and don't hesitate to tell your friends!!! Haha, just kidding. So, without further adieu, the chapter!!!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, but I wouldn't mind borrowing Jacob for a while.**

**p.s. **This font is for AIM and actions, and_ this font is for the stuff that happens in third person._

Confused??? Good. Read the chapter.

---

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

TheDarkCareBear – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

--- **Emmett is… some where, I don't exactly know where the heck he is, but he is out some where doing something and he didn't take his car, and won't be back 'till later**---

_*sigh* is online_

_I'maproudshopaholic32 is online_

_Blondes_r_best615 is online_

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is online_

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

Bellas_romeo39 : Alright, is everything set up for plan BTHOEOAFDBPNPOM???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Edward, why can't we just call it _'The Plan???'_

Bellas_romeo39 : Because, I made it up, so I get to decide what we call it. I'm in charge of this operation.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Are not.

Bellas_romeo39 : Are too.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : ARE NOT!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : ARE TOO!!!

Bella/Jasper : GUYS!!! DO YOU HEAR YOURSELVES???

Edward/Alice : But she/he started it!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Both of you, shut your mouths!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Ok, sorry Bella. But I am in charge.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Are-

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : -Growls- Alice…

Bellas_romeo39 : As I was saying, is everyone set up for 'The Plan?' Happy, Alice???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Overjoyed =]

*sigh* : All of his Hannah Montana CD's are on their' way to the junkyard right now.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : His video games are in the not-so-safe hands of the garbage man as well.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : And it might do well to add that all of his clothes are at Goodwill.

Blondes_r_best615 : BELLA!!! You were supposed to burn them to a crisp!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Yeah, but then I thought about it, and decided it would be better if they didn't go to waste. Plus, I replaced ALL of his old clothes with…other materials.

*sigh* : I guess that's alright, at least they're gone.

Bellas_romeo39 : Rosalie, what about his car???

Blondes_r_best615 : All taken care of, but I decided to not even get him another car, so as of right now, he's car-less. =]

Bellas_romeo39 : Very nice. So…has anyone seen the super glue???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Edward, why would you even need super glue???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : AWESOME IDEA, EDWARD!!! I think the glue was last seen on the mantle by the piano (I think), because ONE couple was desperately trying to fix some broken keys.

*sigh* : -in a girly sing song voice- Rosalie's feeling guilty!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Jasper, please don't EVER do that again.

Bellas_romeo39 : ROSALIE WHAT DID YOU TO MY PIANO???

Blondes_r_best615 : Yeah, about that. 'Ya see, Emmett was really excited because he ordered this book called 'Piano for Beginners,' and he was actually doing quite well, until he got to the level one version of Fur Elise. The dynamic symbol was Formata, so he was really into the song and he was hitting the keys REALLY heard, and then SNAP CRACKLE POP…the rest was history. But hey!!! It wasn't my fault.

*sigh* : You _DID NOT_ just quote Rice Crispies. I'm surprised at you, Rose, that's pretty shallow.

Blondes_r_best615 : Shut up, Jasper.

Bellas_romeo39 : You know what, I won't even say it. Nope, nothing at all. But, may I ask which keys you managed to brake???

Blondes_r_best615 : Wow, Eddie's not having one of his famous temper tantrums??? Shocker. Well, ok. We 'managed' as you put it, to brake Middle C and about everything above that. **(A/N : Sorry about all of this 'piano talk,' I take piano so for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I'll explain it at the end of the chapter.)**

Bellas_romeo39 : _**?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! YOU DID WHAT NOW???**_

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Ok, so Alice, what does he need super glue for that's such an 'AWESOME IDEA?'

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Oh yeah, ya know how his job was to move all of Emmett's remaining 'items' into the garage???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Uh-huh.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Well Eddie had a snap decision to glue everything to the ceiling.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Ah.

*sigh* : Ummm…I don't mean to ruin the moment or anything, but I don't think Esme will like it if she walks into the garage and finds Emmett's belongings on the ceiling. Sooooo… yup.

Blondes_r_best615 : I kinda have to side with Jasper on this one.

Bellas_romeo39 : Wow, the blondies are ganging up on us.

Jasper/Rosalie : HEY!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : 'Ya might have thought about adding something like 'no offence intended.'

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Well, it's 3 against 2, sooooo… WE WIN!!! His junk goes on the ceiling!!!

Blondes_r_best615 : -grumble- Fine.

---

Everyone is in the garage attempting to glue everything on the ceiling, and are all on their' phones, yet again.

**---**

*sigh* : Hey guys, are we doing this right???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : What do you mean 'are we doing this right?' Are you having trouble applying glue to an object, sticking it on the ceiling, then holding it there for a few minutes???

*sigh* : No, of course not!!! What I meant is, is Rosalie's hair _supposed_ to be stuck to the wall like that???

Blondes_r_best615 : My hair is not…OH MY CARLISLE MY HAIR IS STUCK TO THE WALL!!! HELP ME!!! MY HAIR DOESN'T GROW BACK!!! GET IT UN-STUCK FROM THE DAMN WALL!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Well Rose, I don't know, it looks like there's a LOT of glue in there, and it looks REALLY well stuck. Plus this is not regular glue; this is SUPER glue, hence, it being super.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : WELL CALL CARLISLE THEN!!! HE'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Alright already!!! I've got the phone, and didn't he get a new cell phone earlier today???

Bellas_romeo39 : I think so, because Emmett broke his other one yesterday.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Well then, what's the new number???

Bellas_romeo39 : I don't know!!! He hasn't even come home yet!!!

Blondes_r_best615 : HURRY!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR IS BECOMING CONCRETED TO THE WALL!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I know!!! We should call him to get his new number!!!

Everyone but Bella : -Cricket, cricket-

I'maproudShopaholic32 : BELLA HAD A BLONDE MOMENT!!!

Jasper/Rosalie : HEY!!! I RESENT THAT!!!

_Carlisle is online_

Carlisle : Hey everyone!!! Ummm, so if Esme comes through here looking for me, I was never here. And also, I'm 'In Cognito.'

Blondes_r_best615 : What's 'In Cognito???'

Bellas_romeo39 : Rosalie, have you forgotten the last 10 minutes of your life???

Blondes_r_best615 : About what???

I'maproudShopaholic615 : Take a look at your hair, Rose.

Blondes_r_best615 : OH MY GOD MY HAIR IS STUCK TO THE FRICKIN WALL!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS TELL ME?!?

*sigh* : Carlisle, can you just please un-stick her hair from the wall??? She's in the garage.

Carlisle : Sure thing, but how did she get her hair stuck to the wall in the first place???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : We were umm…a… painting!!! Yes, we were painting!!! 'Ya know, that old paint was starting to peel, so we thought we'd do you a favor.

Carlisle : Oh, well, that was very nice of all of you. So let's take a look at your hair, Rosalie.

Blondes_r_best615 : Well it's about time.

Carlisle : Ok Rosalie, I want you to close your eyes, and find your happy place. But please keep them PG-13 rated because of Edward.

Blondes_r_best615 : Okay???

Carlisle : And 5, 4, 3, 2…

Blondes_r_best615 : YEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Ooooo…That looks quite painful.

Blondes_r_best615 : IT IS YOU IDIOT!!!

Carlisle : Don't worry Rosalie, I'm sure Alice can fix it.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : You bet I can!!! C'mon Rose, to my beauty studio!!! You guys can, 'ya know, finish the mission without us, right???

Carlisle : What???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : 'Course we can, Alice. And Carlisle, she's talking about finishing painting the room.

_Blondes_r_best615 is offline_

_I'maproudShopaholic32 is offline_

Carlisle : Oh, well, why would you be painting a room with glue anyway???

*sigh* : It provides extra protection, duh.

Carlisle : Okay… so remember, 'In Cognito!'

_Carlisle is offline_

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : What a way to start an awkward afternoon.

Bellas_romeo39 : I'll say. So, are we mostly finished???

*sigh* : Yeah, we just have a few more things then we're done.

Bellas_romeo39 : Fantastic.

---

Everything is set up for plan BTHOEOAPDBPNPON, or The Plan, or whichever you want to call it. Bella, Edward, Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper are hiding in Emmett's closet waiting for him to come home and yet again, they're using their' phones.

---

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Okay guys, I just heard the door slam and then something brake, which can only mean one thing.

All in Unison : EMMETT'S HOME!!!

*sigh* : He's approaching the bedroom…

Blondes_r_best615 : He's turning the knob!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : HE'S IN THE ROOM!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : He's heading for the video game cabinet, just wait for it…

I'maproudShopaholic32 : 4…3…2…

---

"_AHHHHHHH!!! WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL OF MY VIDEO GAMES?!?" Emmett shrieked._

_Emmett hears muffled giggles in the closet and cautiously approaches. He grabs a nearby broom in case the creatures in the closet attack._

"_HEY, IF YOU'RE THE ELVES FROM MY DREAM THAT HAVE COME TO TAKE MY SOCKS, I'VE GOT A BROOM AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!" he yelled._

_More giggles._

_Shaking, he reaches for the closet handle._

---

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Shoot!!! Guys, he's coming!!!

Blondes_r_best615 : Quick, to the closet escape hatch!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : The _what_???

Blondes_r_best615 : No time for questions Bella, just follow Alice and try not to trip.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Edward, Jasper, c'mon!!! Follow Bella!!!

---

Sure enough, there's a door in the very back of Emmett's closet. Everyone climbs through to find themselves in the backyard.

---

*sigh* : I would've never guessed…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Care to explain Rosalie???

Blodes_r_best615 : Yes, actually. It's for emergencies, like if the house was on fire, so I had that built, and ta-da! Here we stand.

Bellas_romeo39 : Alright then…

I'maproudShopaholic32 : So, what now???

-Everyone hears screams from upstairs: -

---

"_NOT MY CLOTHES TOO!!!" Emmett yelled. "Well, I know one thing that'll cheer me up. Hannah Montana!!!" _

_He walked over to his CD collection that Edward had helped him arrange and began flipping thought his Hannah Montana CD case._

"_WHAT THE…??? NOOOOOO!!! MY LIFE HAS COME TO AND END!!! WHY ME???" he screamed yet again._

_Rosalie, Jasper, Edward, Alice, and Bella were all outside on the lawn in the backyard rolling and howling with laughter. _

"_Huh, weird." Emmett mumbled as he shuffled over to his T.V. and black leather chair. There was a football game on tonight and he didn't want to miss it. _

_THUMP_

_Went Emmett has he landed on the soft white carpet instead of his comfy chair. He looked around the room he and Rosalie shared and notices all of his belongings were missing. The lightbulb suddenly went on in his head. He narrowed his eyes and said, well rather screeched;_

"_EDDIE,PIXIE,CLUTZ,EMOBOY YOU'RE GONNA GET A HELL OF A BEATING WHEN I GET DOWNSTAIRS AND ROSE'LL HELP ME DO IT!!!!"_

---

Bellas_romeo39 : Time for the last prank, to the garage!!!

-Everyone walks into the garage-

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Now what???

Bellas_romeo39 : We drive away in our sweet cars.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Why???

Bellas_romeo39 : Because then Emmett will discover his stuff on the ceiling and when he tries to drive after us…

*sigh* : He won't have a car to drive!!! Haha!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Exactly.

Blondes_r_best615 : Let's go!!!

-Everyone gets in the cars and waits for Emmett to enter the garage, which should be about now…-

_Suddenly the garage door burst open and standing in the doorway was a very angry looking Emmett. Everyone in the cars hit the gas and sped away on the dirt path._

_Emmett just stood there with his mouth hanging open while his eyes scoped out the entire garage looking for his Wrangler._

"_WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAR?!?"_

-------------------------------------------------------------

**Fur Elise****: a song composed by Beethoven**

**Formata:**** It means loud**

**Dynamics:**** It means weather to make the song sound loud or soft.**

**Middle C:**** The key of C in the very middle of the piano.**

**I hope you enjoyed 'April Fool's Day with the Cullens!!!' 'Ya see, we just love messing with Emmett. So I have this idea for the next chapter and I think I might put our dear friend Anonymous_voiceof_doom in it, but only if you're good little readers and review!!! Also, did you guys like how I incorporated AIM and a little of real talking??? Please tell me what you think; the future of the story is in your hands!!! But please, wash your hands before you hold my story's future, and don't drop it. =]**

**-Wolfy**


	8. New and Old Friends

**Ok, sorry about how long it took to get this chapter up. Emmett got mad at me for torturing him in the last chapter and threw me in a closet with only a grape Gatorade and a blueberry bagel. Torture, I know. Also, for all of you lovlies who read An Interesting Dinner With Emmett, I'm writing the sequel now.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the incredibly hot Jacob or any thing else Twilight. I do not own the people who play the Twilight Characters. I do not own Spongebob nor the incredibly catchy tunes and songs that come from it.**

**R&R, and Enjoy!!!**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

TheDarkCareBear – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

---

**(A week after April Fools…)**

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is online_

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is online_

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : …and she was like, 'oh no you di-in't' and then I was like-

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Jacob, what on earth are you talking about???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : I told you earlier, I'm impersonating this one slutty girl on a girly TV show I was watching earlier. Now, as I was saying…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Whoa, wait, hold up. Why were you watching a 'girly' TV show???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Because I was with Nessie, duh. Why else???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I don't know, its just weird…

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : It was a good program!!! Sue me for it, jeez.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Jake, I'm really worried about you. I'm afraid you might be turning into…_Emmett._

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : What do you mean by that???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Well, after you turn into an Emmett minion, none of us can take you that seriously. Emmett Diasese was started on an innocent evening of '97 when Emmett watched a girly show. Next it was manicures. Then makeovers. And so on. 'Ya see where I'm going with this???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Ye-…no. But that whole thing sounds horrid. Is there any way to prevent it???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Well, Carlisle did a study on it and-

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : CARLISLE DID A FREECKING STUDY ON IT??? THEN THIS MUST BE GETTING REALLY BAD!!! JUST GET TO THE FRICKEN POINT AND TELL ME HOW TO REPEL EMMETT DIASESE!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Fine, fine, sheesh, don't your doggie fuzz in a knot. So, they way to protect yourself from Emmettaphobia is-

_I'maproudShopaholic32 is online_

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

I'maproudShopaholic32 : OMG BELLA YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT EDDIE AND I JUST FOUND IN DE PAPER.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : OMG _CLOROX_ IS ON _SALE???_

Bellas_romeo39 : Bella Love, you know I would tell you. But unfortunately, no, there is no Clorox on sale. We found something better.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Better??? Do you plan on going into specifics???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Now there's the Jacob I know and love in a friendly way =]

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Do I want to know???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Probably not. But you were saying…???

Bellas_romeo39 : We were going to tell you that-

I'maproudShopaholic32 : I WANNA TELL THEM!!! A-hem, now was Eddie here, was trying to say was that THERE ARE THESE MORTAL DUDES THAT LOOK EXCATLY LIKE US AND APPERANTLY THEY WERE ALL IN A MOVIE THAT WAS EXACTLY LIKE WHEN BELLA AND EDDIE FIRST MET TO THE TIME WHEN THE CREEPY NOMAD WHATS-HIS-FACE BITTED HER!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Did you put a little extra sugar in your deer this morning, Alice??? But other than that, it's weird. Stalkers…I do not find the feeling of being watched being very pleasant. –shudders-

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Was I in it???

Bellas_romeo39 : I believe so.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Awesome. Then I'm cool with it.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : To answer the first question Bella, just a little. A spoonful. That's all. Plus I do agree. It is really weird, I know. But hopefully we can tap into their chats with each other and we'll be able to talk with them. SLAP???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Don't you dare hit me, pixie girl.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : It means 'sounds like a plan.' Good God, get in the loop, Bella.

Bellas_romeo39 : May I have the honor of continuing???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Do your thing, bloodsucker.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Grrr…Edward, just do it. I'll deal with our dear 'friend' Jacob later.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : -Gulp-

_Chatroom 664 has been connected to chatroom 281._

Taylor: …and she was like, 'oh no you di-in't' and then I was like-

Kristen: Very mature, Taylor. Really, you don't know how much I'm honored to be your friend.

Taylor: I'm ecstatic that you feel honored. I feel the same way.

Robert: Are you two done with your hippie fest? I'd enjoy getting back to the conversation, if you will.

Ashley: What were we talking about again?

Bella/Edward/Jacob/Alice : WHOA.

Taylor: Gah! Who are you people?

I'maproudShopaholic32 : WE COME IN PEACE FROM PLANET DIDDLY-DOO AND ARE THE AWESOMISH PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO USE FUN SMILEY FACES AND OVER EXSTESIVE USE OF EXCLAIMATION POINTS AND QUESTION MARKS, LIKE THIS!!! ??? AND THIS =] :D

Bellas_romeo39 : Plan A isn't working, Alice. Just drop it.

Kristen: Really, who are you?

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Why don't you tell us who we are!?! Since you seem to already know…stalkers.

Robert: Honestly, we haven't the faintest idea of who you all are. And we aren't stalkers, I can assure you.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Uh-huh, sure. Then explain how you just 'happened' to star in a movie that involved all of us!!!

Ashley: And you are?

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Can't you guess??? –sigh- I'm Bella. 'Ya know, the lovely girl that starred in a hit movie called 'Twilight' that you were all in???

Kristen: Oh yes, that's right. So, you're the real deal, huh?

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Yup.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : So then, who plays incredibly hot me???

Taylor: That would be the incredibly hot me. So are you actually a werewolf?

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Naw, I'm no werewolf, I'm a potato farmer. DUH, OF COURSE I'M A WEREWOLF. Boy, you humans can be pretty dumb sometimes.

Ashley: Ok then…Who wants to go shopping?

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Uh, me!!! –points to screen name- I'd thought you would've guessed by now, but oh well. TO PARIS!!!

Ashley: TO PARIS!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Um, maybe we should wait until this conversation is over. This is interesting.

Ashley: Agreed.

Bellas_romeo39 : This is becoming rather awkward.

Robert: So then you're Edward, correct?

Bellas_romeo39 : Yes, that's right. Jealous much, mortal???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Edward!!! Don't you _dare_ use that tone!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : I'm sorry, Love. I just got carried away –hugs Bella-

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Awww…I love you to =] –kissed Edward-

Robert/Ashley/Taylor/Alice/Jacob: AH-HEM, THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE HERE TO, YOU KNOW.

Bella/Edward : Oops, sorry.

_TheDarkCareBear is online_

TheDarkCareBear : Hey, has anyone seen Carlisle???

Robert: And who might you be?

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Esme??? Is that you???

TheDarkCareBear : -mumbles- Maybe…-cough-

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : GOD BLESS YOU.

Taylor: Dude, you only say that when someone sneezes.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Oh, then I should make up something for when someone coughs, like…THE MOOSE STRIKES AT MIDNIGHT.

Bellas_romeo39 : 'Whatever floats your boat, Jake,' A quote by the lovely Renesmee.

TheDarkCareBear : To answer asked question; Yes, sadly it is me. CARLISLE DID IT, I SWEAR ON MY EXISTANCE. So, has anyone seen him???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : To reply to answered question; ROFLMAO!!! Man Esme, love your screen name. He he, LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE 'IT!!!

Ashley: Do we want to know?

I'maproudShopaholic32 : No, not really.

Taylor: Awkward moment…

TheDarkCareBear : HAS ANYONE SEEN MY FREAKIN HUSBAND???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : No Esme, we haven't.

TheDarkCareBear : Alright, thank you Bella Dear =)

_TheDarkCareBear is offline_

Robert: Ah, so, where were we?

_Anonymous_voiceof_doom is online_

_Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion is online_

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : ANONYMOUS VOICE OF DOOM IS BACK BAY-BEE!!! AND I AM HERE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : IIIIEEEE!!! MY NIGHTMARE IS COMING BACK TO HAUNT ME!!! –Jumps into Bella's arms and starts to suck thumb with wide eyes-

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : -Staggers about- Holy crap, Jake, what have you been eating???

Bellas_romeo39 : Here Bella, let me take him –Bella hands Jacob to Edward, who is still in a coma-sicky-type-thingy. Edward then dumps Jacob onto the floor and wipes his hands clean- There. All better :D

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW MASTER, WEAKLINGS!!! –Strokes evil white cat named Fluffy-

Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion : What should I do, boss???

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : Indeed. Go get me some extra cheesy pizza, but don't put any of that red crap on it, it's utterly disgusting.

Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion : Sir, yes, sir.

_Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion is offline_

Kristen: What the heck is going on???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : I'm not completely sure.

_Beatdat! is online_

Beatdat! : K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y SAYS I =D

_Beatdat! is offline_

Taylor: Okay, that was REALLY EXTREMELY weird.

Robert: Guys, let's go.

Bellas_romeo39 : -Looks at Jacob who is rocking back and forth still sucking his thumb- Yeah, I'll think we'll go now too. We need medical help for the Mutt.

_Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion is online_

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : MINION!!! I said no red stuff!!! I VAGUELY RECALL SAYING I DIDN'T WANT ANY FREAKING RED SHIT ON MY PIZZA!!! FIX IT, NOW!!!

Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion : Sorry, Boss. I'll fix it right away.

_Anonymous_voiceof_doom's_minion is offline_

Ashley: Let's go…

Anonymous_voiceof_doom : OH NO YOU DON'T –lunges for everyone all at once but fails miserably falling flat on his face in a pile of cow terds- ACK!!! WHAT THE HELL??? –Coughs-

-Jacob suddenly snaps out of his coma things and says…-

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : THE MOOSE STRIKES AT MIDNIGHT!!!

---

**Anyways, sorry for the incredibly long wait for this chapter. I've also had writers block. So I brought my BFF Anonymous_voiceof_doom back into this chapter, did you like seeing him again??? If so, please tell me if you'd like to see him in future chapters, because I'll make it happen just for you ;) **

**Review, and if you want to, I am giving you all permission to FLAME ME for being so slow on putting up the chapters. I laugh at those. I will dedicate my next chapter to you if your FLAME is the funniest. Don't be to literal though when flaming, make me laugh =D Oh, and the chapters might start to become noticeably shorted because school starts in 5 days and my b-day is on the 28****th****!!! So yes, unless you can provide me with most of the ideas for upcoming chapters, they will be shorter. Thanks for readin'!**

**R E V I E W!!!**

**-Wolfy**


	9. The IQ of a Squirrel

**Hey guys!!! So I was able to get this chapter up faster, for unknown reasons. I put a little real-life talking at the very end. I hope you like this chapter about the guys! **

**Disclaimer: I own none of the hot Twi-guys. I don't own Santa, Elvis, The Pink Panther, or Elvis. I just do not own Twilight ='[**

**This chapter is dedicated to ****Fanfiction addict 4 life 2 ****=]**

**Enjoy!**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

TheDarkCareBear – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

---

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is online_

_*sigh* is online_

_Beatdat! is online_

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

Beatdat! : Guess WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!

*sigh* : What now???

Bellas_romeo39 : Oh God, PLEASE NO!!! NO!!! ANYTHING BUT _THAT,_ EMMETT!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : What's he plotting this time???

*sigh* : Please tell me it's not…that time of year again…

Beatdat! : Oh, but it is.

*sigh* : HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!! EMMETT, IF YOU DO YOU I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL…I'll…

Beatdat! : You'll what??? Throw meatballs at me??? Tell some nuns that I kick little kitties??? Stab me with a plastic spoon??? Tell me Jazzy boy, what are 'ya gonna do about it???

*sigh* : Well, if you insist… -Grabs meatball gun out of nowhere- WAR ENGAGED!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : -Grabs a kitten out of nowhere- KITTEN FIGHT!!! –Jake starts to chuck kittens randomly at everyone-

Bellas_romeo39 : Am I the only sane one here???

_**An hour later…**_

*sigh* **-Ducks flying cat-** TIME; My amo is running low… -**gets hit in the face with a cat-** PLAH, YUCK!!! _Who threw that???_

Beatdat! : **-Whistles-**

*sigh* : GAH!!! DIE, TRAITOR!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Will this ever end???

Beatdat! : So anyway, you guys will come with me to my shindig…

Bellas_romeo39 : Only hippies say 'shindig'

Beatdat! : Exactly =]

Edward/Jasper : **-Eyes get wide-** NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : What's going on???

Bellas_romeo39 : Once every year, Emmett kidnaps all of us to go to a –shudders- disco reenactment. Even worse, he already has our costumes, and I'm not too thrilled about mine.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Why can't we just not go???

Beatdat! : HULK SMASH!!! **–A loud shattering noise comes from outside-**

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : WHAT THE CRAP?!? MY CAR!!!

*sigh* : That's why we always go.

Bellas_romeo39 : Please spare us, Emmett!!! What have we done to deserve this???

Beatdat! : Let me remind you of two weeks ago on April Fools…

*sigh* : Ugh. Fine, we'll go, but we don't have to like it.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : When it this thing, anyway???

Beatdat! : It's in –checks imaginary watch- two hours!!! This gives us time to put on our outfits!!!

Bellas_outfits39 : WHY ME?!?

Beatdat! :–superhero music- TO THE EMMETT CAVE!!!

---

**In the Emmett Cave (a.k.a Emmett's room…)**

---

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : You've gotta be a mental retard if you ever thought in your wildest dreams that I'd ever wear that… repulsive excuse for a costume…

Beatdat! : HULK SMA-

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : OK!!! I'LL WEAR THE DAMN OUTFIT!!!

*sigh* : A…what is mine supposed to be??? –Pokes outfit-

Beatdat! : You're going as…SANTA!!!

*sigh* : Emmett, I thought this was some kinds of hippie-disco thing. Not Christmas.

Beatdat! : -slaps Jasper across the face-

*sigh* : WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR???

Beatdat! : I dunno. But you're wearing the outfit, or else…

*sigh* : -mutters incoherently while putting on the Santa costume-

Bellas_romeo39 : Uh, Emmett??? I think mine is…alive.

Beatdat! : Elvis is dead, Eddie. Put on the friggin costume.

Bellas_romeo39 : But-

Beatdat! : DON'T BE SUCH A PANSY AND PUT IT ON!!! Now for my outfit…

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : What _are _you going as, Bloodsucker???

Beatdat! : THE HIPPIE KING!!! **(Pics of the costumes are on my profile.)**

**-Everyone has their, um…costumes on and is in the garage-**

Bellas_romeo39 : HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! What are you supposed to be, Jacob??? A pink rat???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : I'M THE PINK PANTHER YOU DUNCE!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Right…

*sigh* : Um, nice…wig Emmett.

Beatdat! : 'Ya like me afro??? I was gonna get it black but then I decided rainbow would be cooler.

*sigh* : Uh-huh. So which car are we taking???

Bellas_romeo39 : THE VOLVO!!! =]

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : No one wants to drive there in your soccer mom car, Eddie.

Bellas_romeo39 : HEY!!!

Beatdat! : No, we take the Chick Mobile.

Edward/Jasper/Jacob : _WHAT???_

**-Emmett points over to the corner of the garage where a disgrace to all automobiles sits.-**

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Dude, no way in Hell are we taking an _actual hippie van_ to the disco. **(Pic of the van on my profile.)**

*****sigh* : -Points to the van- That's a real shameful piece of junk, Emmett. And therefore, I'm not driving there in it.

Bellas_romeo39 : I agree with Jasper.

Beatdat! : HULK SMASH!!!

Edward/Jasper : EMMETT, NOOOO!!!

**-Emmett crushes all of Edward's cars and Jasper's motorcycle-type thingy.-**

Beatdat! : Too late.

*sigh* : Carlisle's going to be pissed with you.

Beatdat! : And that's a chance I'm willing to take!!! To the Chick Mobile!!!

**-Five miles down the road-**

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Is it just me or is the car slowing and puffing out grey fumes of smoke???

Beatdat! : Nope. I see the smoke too.

*sigh* : Oh well!!! It was worth a try!!! Looks like it's back to the house!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Yes!!! See you guys later!!!

Beatdat! : Oh no you don't!!! I was genius enough to come up with a backup plan!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Uh-oh. This doesn't sound like something…legal.

Beatdat! : Chillax, Mutt. I brought Carlisle's car!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : How the hell did you do that???

Beatdat! : It's a secret…

*sigh* : SECRETS, SECRETS, ARE NO FUN. SECRETS ARE FOR EVERYONE!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : ???

*sigh* : I'm just sayin'…

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Well, I don't see any car except for the piece 'o crap we were just in.

**-Carlisle's car appears out of thin air-**

Beatdat! : -Smirks-

*sigh* : Don't be such an ass, Em.

Beatdat! : MEOW.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Do you think the meatball/kitten fight had anything to do with that???

*sigh* : Naw, he had the IQ of a squirrel before the fight.

Bellas_romeo39 : Let's just ignore him and get out of…where are we, anyway???

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Dunno.

Bellas_romeo39 : Well, c'mon guys!!!

**-Everyone gets in the car, Emmett included and they *finally* get to the disco thingy-**

Beatdat! : WE'RE HEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!

*sigh* : No, really??? I haven't noticed!!!

Beatdat! : And you guys call me unobservant…

Bellas_romeo39 : Let's just get this over with.

**-Jasper, Jacob, Emmett, and Edward walk into the building-**

"Twenty-nine," and older voice yelled. The Cullen boys and Jacob looked up to see several seniors in a small room playing what looked to be Bingo.

"Emmett," Jasper said, "Are you sure we're in the right place?" Emmett grinned.

"Yup," he replied. "We're in the right place." Emmett went and sat in an open chair and started to fill up his Bingo card.

Edward's facial expression suddenly turned very angry and he clenched his fists at his sides.

"Edward, what is it?" Jacob asked as he poked Eddie in the ribs. Jasper leaned in to hear his answer.

"The manipulating bastard tricked us. He just got by with our payback from April Fools," he spat.

"BINGO!" Emmett yelled before jumping on one of the tables and doing the worm. "GO EMMETT, GO EMMETT!"

---

**Okay, like I said before, the chapters are gonna be shorter, because school just started and I don't have that much free time. In this case, the chapter was suckish, so again, you may flame me and the best flamer will have the next chapter dedicated to them. The next chapter is already in progress. Also, if 'ya didn't catch it before, the boy's pictures and the hippie van pic is on my profile. There's also a new poll up for you guys to answer. It's about this story. So, please review and make my day!!!**

**-Wolfy**

**P.S. If you haven't read it, please go read my new hit, 'An Interesting Dinner with Emmett' and review!!! When you're done with that, read the sequel 'An Interesting School Day with Emmett!!!' Thanks!**


	10. FREE That Spells Free!

**Hey people!!! I've been out of town for a while, but I'm back now!!! Here's the story, in my opinion, I think it's one of my funniest yet!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, Free Credit Report .com songs, and a bunch of other stuff.**

Screen names:

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg – Jacob

*sigh* – Jasper

I'maproudShopaholic32 – Alice

Beatdat! – Emmett

Blondes_r_best615 – Rosalie

Monster_ofthe_C – Renesmee

Don'tcallme_isabella181 – Bella

Bellas_romeo39 – Edward

TheDarkCareBear – Esme

Carlisle – Carlisle

No_comment – Seth

Iprobablyhateyou – Leah

---

_Bellas_romeo39 is online_

_I'maproudShopaholic32 is online_

_Don't_callme_isabella181 is online_

_*sigh is online_

_Blondes_r_best615 is online_

_Beatdat! is online_

_Monster_ofthe_C is online_

_I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg is online_

*sigh* : Why won't anyone play golf with me???

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Well probably because, number one, you stink at it, a number two, when Carlisle played with you, you ended up whacking him in the back of his head with your golf club. That's probably why.

*sigh* : Oh, well, oh.

Beatdat! : I know what'll make you feel better Jazzy!!! The Waffles song!!!

*sigh* : -grumble- Fine. But everyone has to do it with me.

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : What waffles song???

Beatdat! : Do you want to sing the first parts or do you want me to, Jasper???

*sigh* : You can.

Beatdat! : Okay, everyone. Ready???

Everyone but Jake : Yes!!!

-Catchy music starts to play in the background and Emmett starts singing…-

Beatdat! : DO 'YA LIKE WAFFLES???

Everyone but Jake : YEAH, WE LIKE WAFFLES!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : Wha-???

Beatdat! : DO 'YA LIKE PANCAKES???

Everyone but Jake : YEAH, WE LIKE PANCAKES!!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : This is nuts. You guys don't even eat people food!!! That's what _I'm_ for!!!

Beatdat! : DO 'YA LIKE FRENCH TOAST???

Everyone but Jake : YEAH, WE LIKE FRENCH TOAST!!

I_kno_im_a_hawt_dawg : This is freaking crazy!!! You people are all weird!!!

Everyone but Jake : BOO-DO-DA-DOO, CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL!!!

---

The convo/song above was never spoken of ever again.

---

Beatdat! : Guys, I have some…disappointing news…

Monster_ofthe_C : What, or who, did you break/kill this time???

Beatdat! : Wow Ness, I'm so glad you think highly of me.

Monster_ofthe_C : Mmm-hmm, sure, sure…

I'maproudShopaholic32 : SO what's so importante???

Beatdat! : Well, ya see…

Bellas_romeo39 : Yeah…???

Beatdat! : I sort of…

*sigh* : Yeah…???

Beatdat! : Ran…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Uh-huh???

Beatdat! : Mycarintoatree Hey, who wants pie???

-Everyone groans in unison-

Blondes_r_best615 : Emmett?!? How on earth did you…???

Beatdat! : It takes years of skill to become one with disaster, like Bells, here.

Bella/Edward : HEY!!!

Monster_ofthe_C : …so what are you driving now???

Beatdat! : A used Subcompact.

*sigh* : Why are driving a used sub-compact???

Beatdat! : Well, I'll tell you. In _song!!!_

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Ugh, if I need a hearing aid after this, you're gonna get it, Emmett.

Beatdat! Get what??? A present??? Ooooo, I hope it is a present!!! Anyway…

_Well I walked into the lot thinking, which one's me?  
A cool Convertible or an SUV?  
_

_Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack,  
Cuz' now I'm drivin' off the lot in a used Subcompact.  
_

_F-R-E-E that spells free,  
Credit report dot com baby.  
_

_Saw their ads on my T.V.  
Thought about going, but was too lazy.  
_

_Now instead of lookin' fly n rollin' phat,  
My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse's gettin' laughed at.  
_

_F-R-E-E that spells free,  
Credit report dot com baby._

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Um…well, that was rather awkward and uncomfortable.

Bellas_romeo39 : Yeah, especially when the person who sings it is tone-deaf and listens to 60's music.

Beatdat! : Watch your mouth, lover boy.

Bellas_romeo39 : OK, _Mom._

*sigh* : So basically what you're trying to say is, you have a bad credit score???

Beatdat! : Shut up, idiot.

*sigh* : Oh, wait, hold on a sec, back this truck up. You're the one who runs into a tree, gets a crappy car all because of a suckish credit score, and yet, _I'm the idiot???_

Blondes_r_best615 : Emmett dear, didn't you sign up for Geico like you said you were going to???

Beatdat! : I tried, but it was too hard.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Um, I'm pretty sure the commercial clearly states that 'It's so easy a caveman can do it!'

Beatdat! : -Growls- _It. Was. Too. Hard._

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : -Backs away slowly raising hands in defensive manner- Easy there Emmett…

Monster_ofthe_C : Awkward silence…

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Cricket cricket

Bellas_romeo39 : This is becoming rather uncomfortable…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I think it's nice. We hardly ever have any peace and quite around here.

**Ten seconds later…**

Beatdat! : PEEP, PEEP!!! MOO, MOO!!! OINK,OINK!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : …and maybe I spoke a bit to soon.

*sigh* : It was nice while it lasted –stifles a cry-

Monster_ofthe_C : So…I'm bored. What now???

Blondes_r_best615 : I could give everyone makeovers!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : Ehhh, I think I'll pass on this one.

*sigh* : Yeah, me too, something um…just came up.

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Same here.

Beatdat! : -a lightbulb forms above Emmett's head- I HAVE AN AWWESOMISH IDEA!!!

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Do tell.

Beatdat! : We could tell stories!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Ya' see Emmett, I was into princesses. Then I turned three.

Beatdat! : Pssh, silly Bella. The Cullens don't tell lame 'ole princess stories. We tell _ghost stories._

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Cool. I'm in.

Monster_ofthe_C : Me too!!!

Bellas_romeo39 : I guess I'll go it…

*sigh* : Jasper wants in!!!

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : So does Bella!!!

Blondes_r_best615: -in a mimicking voice- _Something came up_. Yeah right. I guess I'll join in for the story telling stuff.

Beatdat! : I WANNA GO FIRST, because it was my idea.

Monster_ofthe_C : Go on, then.

Beatdat! : Okie-dokie. So once upon a time-

*sigh* : WAIT I have a question. Why did you say Okie-dokie??? It just sounds so… not manly.

Beatdat! : SHUDDUP JAZZY OR I'LL KICK YOUR BUTT ALL THE WAY TO LA PUSH!!!

*sigh* : Wow, we're talkin' major latitudes and longitudes here. I didn't know you'd take it so hard, Em. Forgive me. Spare me. Ahhhh.

Beatdat! : AH-HEM. AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE…Once upon a time, there was a… blob named Fred and a blob named Gertrude. Fred made fun of poor Gertrude because of his name (I mean really, what parents would name a kid Gertrude??? Poor kids.) Gertrude was also jealous of all the other blob children because they we're fatter and chunkier then himself. But what Gertrude didn't know is that it only mattered what was inside. Because he didn't know that, Gertrude killed all the children blobs, blew up everything in Blobtown, and took over Blobworld single handedly. Then Jacob and his mutt friends came to Blobworld and found Gertrude. Jacob kicked his sorry ass all the way to Mars and the Gertrude went BOOM and exploded. THE END.

All in unison : O.o

Beatdat! : Sooooo…. What'd you guys think???

Monster_ofthe_C : Why are they blobs???

Blondes_r_best615 : That was far from a ghost story, dearest.

*sigh* : What I want to know is how old this Gertrude kid is.

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Blobtown???

Bellas_romeo39 : Blobworld???

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : I'm honestly just curious; how did Jacob end up in your story, Emmett???

Beatdat! : Ahhh, answers will come to those who believe.

Monster_ofthe_C : Believe in…what exactly???

Santa : Me, of course!!! HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!!!

Beatdat! : OMG IT'S SANTA!!! HI SANTA!!! OMG I CAN'TBELIEVETHISISHAPPENINGANDIALWAYSBELIEVEDINYOUBUTINEVERREALLYTHOUGHTTHATISWASTRUEANDNOWIKNOWITISBECAUSEYOU'REHEREANDEVERYTHINGISWONDERFUL!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS, SANTA!!! TELL ROULDOPH I LOVE HIM!!!

*sigh* : Well that was…weird.

Blondes_r_best615 : Sooooo… what do we do _now???_

I'maproudShopaholic32 : Cricket cricket

Monster_ofthe_C : Awkward silence…

Bellas_romeo39 : This is becoming rather uncomfortable…

Don'tcallme_isabella181 : Ohhhh no… I _am not_ sitting through this again. Good day to you all.

_Don'tcallme_isabella181 is offline, which means everyone else goes offline._

**Hope 'ya liked it!!! Please review!!! Thank 'ye kindly!!!**

**-Wolfy **


	11. Please Read! Contains continuing info!

Okay, sorry for not updating. You hate me, I know. But I came here today to take a poll, or a survey, more or less.

So, let's see, I want to know how many of you read this story. Please go to my profile and vote if you'd like to see this story continue, because I think the viewers for this story are dwindling. Please vote!!!

Thanks!!!

-Wolfy


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